Time flies. When I was little, I always wanted to be older. I think most girls had that time in their life when they would look at women or other older girls, and wanted to be independent. I lived in a big city so I was constantly seeing people fly by to work dressed in the most amazing outfits and I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be busy. I wanted to wear high heels and rock that red lipstick. Maybe I’m the only troubled child that was like this. Maybe it was because I was never allowed to do those kind of things. But where did the time go since I was 5? I clearly remember being 5. I remember being 10 – my best friend wrote me a letter, and I remember the first line being, “YOU’RE IN THE DOUBLE DIGITS!”. I remember being 13 and telling my mom that I can officially watch “Mean Girls”. On my 16th birthday my aunt gave me my first piece of gold jewelry, a beautiful ring that I then lost and I remember my grandmother telling me that 18 would be the age of nice jewelry. When I turned 17 my dad gave me this really strange necklace that resembled more of a chain – he has always had trouble picking out gifts. My 18th birthday I spent in Ukraine with good people, and 19 was the first one I spent away from my family, with my best friend. But what happened to all those years in between? What happened to being stress-free and childish? Looking at all those years, I realize that I will never get them back. I want to be that 10 year old girl again running around not caring about anything in the world. I want to feel the sun without complaining that it is too hot or too cold; just feel it. I don’t want to be responsible for anything and I don’t have to think about flying out of my safe nest and out into the real world.
Time needs to slow down. Take a breather. Because I need some time to catch up.